Emotional Eating and 9/11

9 years ago I was in bed when my friend Debby Quebedeaux called and woke me up with the news that the Trade Center had been hit by a plane. I got up and turned on the TV and watched in horror while the second plane hit into the second tower. I was in shock. I left the house went to the store(in my jammie pants and a tee shirt) and bought a half gallon of ice cream. Then I came home and proceeded to eat the entire half gallon. I sat with the container in my lap and spoon by spoon ate the entire thing while watching the horror on TV. I can't remember even feeling anything other than such horror and sorrow but I was feeding my emotions at the time. I would take time to wipe my tears and my nose and continue to eat the ice cream till it was gone. I didn't realize that I had eaten the entire thing till I looked down and found myself surprised that the container was empty. Looking back my current response is "what was I thinking???" The problem was that I wasn't thinking. I was distressed and in shock and the first thing I did without thinking was to feed that emotion. I was conscious this year of my feelings and found as I was watching the replays on the news that I wanted something sweet. I didn't follow thru with that desire and allowed the emotion that I was feeling to roll over me. I really understood that in the past I have eaten when I have been upset to cover up my feelings. This is some sort of ah-ha moment. So today on the anniversary of the senseless terror attack on New York City, on Americans I am watching without food to dull the feelings. I prayed instead that the survivors, families and those immediately touched by the attack will be blessed. I will, every year hold vigil in front of my TV and I will remember.